He’s a whiner.

My boyfriend and I were dating long distance. I went out to visit him and was amazed by what a crybaby he’d become. He bitched about everything: how sore his muscles were from working out, how annoying the homeless people on the train were, how difficult school was, etc.
It was especially annoying given he didn’t work and his parents paid for literally everything he needed or wanted. At 28 years old, the guy should have shut the heck up and recognized that his situation was pretty damn easy. I couldn’t stand being around him and was happy when he became distant after my visit because it gave me all the more reason to dump his whining ass.

He’s financially controlling … with his parents’ money.

The twisted parent-child relationship my ex-husband had with his parents was a burning red flag that I unfortunately ignored.  When I met him he had his “own place” (subletting from his now-ex-brother-in-law), but basically had all his meals and laundry done at mommy and daddy’s house. On top of that they gave him wads of cash whenever he wanted.

The strange thing was that my ex treated his parents like children, constantly harping and criticizing them for everything. He even tried to take control of their finances, constantly lecturing them on how they should be spending their time, money and essentially their lives. Our six-year marriage was not a happy one; he eventually became physically, verbally and financially abusive.

A year ago I took our daughter, the dog and as much stuff as I could fit in the car and left him. By the time the divorce was final, lawyers paid and the property divided, he was left with about $6,000 out of about $80,000 his parents gave him. And yes, the gifted money was considered a “marital asset.”

He’s not in love.

I had been dating this guy for almost two months and thought things were going well.  We both liked the same kind of music, and got tickets to go to a rock concert. He was totally into me at the concert and on the way back to my house after the show.  As we were snuggling on my loveseat, he wanted to have the “you and me” talk.  He proceeded to tell me that he wasn’t “in love” with me (it hadn’t even been two months yet!) and that we should break up. In the beginning when we started dating, he said he wasn’t in a rush for anything serious, yet his excuse for ending things after almost two months was that he wasn’t in love with me. And to show interest in me during an amazing rock concert only to break up with me after, rude. The real kicker was that he wanted to stay friends and still do things together. I told him that would be too awkward, but he still continues to text me.

He invites a second date to join you.

A few years ago, a friend set me up with a guy who lived a few states away from me. We chatted on the phone a lot and when he was coming into NYC we agreed to spend the day together. We started with lunch and then wandered around, I was still feeling the situation out when we happened to pass by the Shakespeare in the Park box office and sure enough they still had tickets available. He suggested we get four tickets and I thought that meant he wanted to invite the friends who set us up (sweet but a bit awkward as this was still our first date). But that wasn’t the case. As we we’re walking away from the ticket booth, he asked if I’d mind if he invited someone else––another woman––with one of the extra tickets and I could use the fourth ticket for someone I knew.

I was a little suspicious at his hesitation and the way he phrased the request, so I pushed him further. Eventually he admitted that he had lined up a second date while he was in town, and he was supposed to meet her later in the day around the time the play started.

At first I was so taken aback I was actually ‘logical’ and polite about his request, eventually my sense returned and I realized he was using me to kill time till he could meet up with her. So I told him to loose my number.

Though the play was awesome.

He’s a hard-core thief.

I dated this guy in college for two, maybe three months. I was living with my parents, and when his roommates moved down the coast––leaving him with nowhere to go––they said he could stay with me there. They gave him a job working for the family business. Long story short, he claimed to be sick a couple of days in a row and stayed home alone while I went to class. During his time alone in the house he rummaged through my parents’ stuff until he found the keys to the safe. I didn’t know until about a month later that he had basically robbed my parents’ house.

I had just dumped him when his best friend called me to ask about some laptop my grandmother (who was very much dead) gave my ex. He sold that same friend a gorgeous ring that a great, great uncle made over 100 years ago. Then I started wondering so I called my mother. He had stolen tools, extremely valuable coins, a 100-dollar bill proof and so on. The total loss was over $10,000. He pawned it all at a local pawn shop, showing his ID and signing his own name, for about … $300. The police wouldn’t do anything, but they had no problem arresting his friend for giving us back the ring he bought.

A couple weeks later he was all over the news with two other guys for robbing like fifteen places around the state.

He’s a psychotic player, Part II.

A follow up to the original “He’s psychotic player” post …

Not only was he in every single parent group imaginable, this guy was also totally into helping the Cub Scout “den mothers.” He held a couple of meetings at his house, at which I helped with refreshments, and I got the worst vibes of resentment from the other kid’s moms. Déjà vu. He laughingly told me that he had playfully asked a few of them to marry him a couple of times, and when they started taking him seriously, he had to back-off and tell them that he just wanted to be friends. He said, “I just wanted to help them feel good about themselves, but they wanted more than I was ready to give …” Of course, he still wanted to talk about sex with them. When I mentioned that he only seemed interested in helping single women that he could manipulate, he got angry and changed the subject to his “confirmed-kills in Nam” and the sad anniversaries of all the friends he’d lost. That’s when I finally dumped him.

Clarification:  This isn’t about God and church nor American patriots/warriors, this is about psychos blowing authoritative-sacred-cow smoke screens in the name of Jesus and the American Flag.