He keeps his exes on a tight string.

I have known my boyfriend for over a year and a half, but we’ve only been together for the past five months. When we first met I was very reluctant to give him a chance, so we mostly “talked” off and on. When things didn’t work out with the guy I had been seeing, I decided to give him a shot once again. When I called him, he said he was so excited I was ready to be in a relationship with him after waiting so long, but there was a catch. He was talking to his ex-girlfriend at the time and said he wasn’t going to give her up until he knew I was sincere. So about a week later I went to his birthday party, at which he got so drunk that he passed out and I watched another girl kiss him while he was unconscious. I told myself I would never trust him again, and then a couple of days later he told me that he loved me. It has now been five months, and I love him, but we fight over the most insignificant things. He doesn’t want me to hang out with his friends because they all like me a “little too much” and I sense a lack of trust. I want to believe that things will work with him, but I can’t get past the things he says and does, especially when he brings up his ex-girlfriends, saying he gave them up to be with me.

He has multiple babies he supports by selling drugs.

I dated a guy who had every red flag imaginable, yet I remained with him for a long time. His baby’s momma was over at his house constantly. While this would have been bad enough, he talked down to her, threatened to hit her and even made her serve me supper one night I was over.  He drank gin straight from the bottle, often in place of eating. I found out he was a drug dealer and questioned his career choice. He said he was selling drugs for food stamps because he had no ambition to get a real job despite 15 kids to support … prior to this explanation, I thought he only had two kids.

He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s the daddy.

After a few months of dating I found out I was pregnant. When I told my guy, he told me that he’d have no problem supporting me financially but he did not want his children (who are teens) or his ex wife to know about the baby at all. He also did not want anyone to know that he was the father, told me not to tell anyone and that the baby could not have his last name. He claimed that his ex and kids would be very upset. Did I mention that he’s been divorced for twelve years?

He tells you he’s kind of a creep.

During the first week of dating this guy he told me how he likes to manipulate girls into sleeping with him — especially virgins because they’re “so easy.” A little later in our relationship he tells me that he’s a sociopath and regales me with stories of how he manipulates everyone around him. Both of those times I just laugh and think he’s joking.

Fast-forward seven years: We’ve decided to break up and just be friends (no anger or hard feelings on either end). Then, I find out he’d been cheating on me the entire time and he had a two-year-old child. And I had no clue.