He eats all of your groceries.

I dated this guy who never wanted to go out—he only wanted to stay at my place and watch movies. Ok, fine, but the meals we ate were almost always meals that I cooked, and any movie rental was paid for by me. If I suggested going out to eat, he would say, “We don’t need to spend money, let’s just cook something here.” What did he think, that the grocery fairy came to my house? Cooking “something here” meant I paid for the meal, cooked it and cleaned up after.

The man could eat like he had a hollow leg: He would down a huge bag of chips, or eat a whole package of Chips Ahoy cookies in one sitting.  If he came over for dinner, he would hang around the next morning for hours and hours figuring I would eventually have to make some sort of breakfast. He never brought anything to my house, never contributed in any way.  He was at my house three or four nights a week freeloading. And to make things worse, his favorite rant was on how all women are gold diggers.  Pure. Class.

He doesn’t respect her, especially in bed.

I met this guy through a friend at a bar one night, and we spent the whole night glued to each other talking. He asked for my number, took me on a date or two, and then disappeared. I figured he simply wasn’t that into me and didn’t think about it. Eventually, I noticed that he changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship.”

A few months later, I ran into him at a bar. His presence, along with that of another ex, led me to drink far too much. I ended up going home with him, unsure if he was indeed seeing someone else. Everything seemed fine at first and I thought the only red flag at that point was the fact that he only gave me the time of day when I drunkenly threw myself at him.

We ended up sleeping together one more time and more flags started to fly when I caught him filming me with his cell phone during the act. When he saw me catch a glimpse of the phone, he tried to hide it. I told him I was really uncomfortable with what he did, but he shrugged it off and said that he only filmed me because he was going to masturbate to it later. I didn’t believe him for a second and three days later went over to his house, swiped his phone, took it to the bathroom, deleted the videos—yes, there was more than one—and handed it back to him. I’ve ignored him since and regret that I barked up the disinterested tree in the first place.

He keeps you hidden from his sister.

My 30-year-old ex’s older sister didn’t approve of me, so he told her that we broke up and kept our relationship a secret from her. He would make me park at least half a block away from his house when I came over in case she drove by and saw my car. He would ditch me for days at a time because his sister wanted to hang out and he “couldn’t” tell her he wanted to spend time with me. If she came over while I was there he would make me hide upstairs until she left. He wouldn’t even go out in public with me in case she or somebody they knew saw us.

He’s an inconsiderate ass.

I was dating a guy long distance for a year. I drove four hours to his place and got in around midnight, at which point he informed me that he no longer wanted to date. I was too tired to turn around or find a hotel at that hour, so I told him I needed to sleep on his couch for a few hours then I’d leave. He suggested I sleep in his bed so we could have sex … five minutes after breaking up with me.

He pawns you off on his friends.

My ex-boyfriend was working for the local police department and going through the police academy for the entire ten months we dated. I understood from the beginning that he was busy with work and school, but it didn’t seem like a problem. I had time to do my own thing, and he made plenty of time for the two of us on the weekends. But the longer we dated, the less and less time he had to spend with me … even though his work and school schedule had eased up.  It got to the point where it wasn’t uncommon for me to go days without seeing or hearing from him. He often asked his best friend to take me out for the evening so he could stay home and nap. I told myself for months that it was just a phase and everything would work out but I was very wrong. I finally broke it off and now, a year later, am engaged to the friend he use to pawn me off on.