He’s a jerk … and a smooth-talker.

Fourteen years ago I became friends with a man who it felt like really understood me and saw me for what I am. We ended up eventually declaring our love for one another and dating. After two months he started to get very jealous when I was around other guys. Then he became verbally and emotionally abusive. Turned out he was acting like a jerk to cover up the fact that he was cheating. I broke up with him and intended to never see him again.

He had totally left my mind until I accidentally ran into him one day. He apologized for how he acted, sounding very sincere. I forgave him and decided to give him another chance. For the next month, he said and did everything right. He even talked about our long-term future together. It was summer and we decided to have a nice, quiet, intimate Memorial Day with just the two of us. I planned a special meal, picked up all the ingredients and went to his house to cook. All the sudden, without any previous mention by him, his uncle, cousin and grown son walked in. They were apparently joining us for the meal. So much for intimate, but I figured this was a good time to get to know his family a little better. I cooked a huge feast and we all went out on the terrace to eat it.

While we were eating the phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and answered on speaker. A woman’s voice asked who was in the background and he replied my uncle, cousin, son and a “friend.” The breath literally left my body when he said that last word. Why wouldn’t he say “girlfriend” or tell the woman on the line my name? After dinner I approached him to ask about it. He immediately got defensive and said the girl was his half sister, not someone he was cheating with. He said they were going on vacation together and needed to talk through the plan. When I asked if I could join, he got angry again and gave a definitive “no.” Shortly thereafter I found out that he and his supposed sister were sharing a room at a couples resort. I felt like my brain exploded! This skanky guy was a low down dog going on vacation to screw his half sister. I left and never spoke to him again.

I recently bumped into a coworker of his and they informed me that he had his name legally changed to “Forever Jacobs.” What a narcissistic loser! Forever Jacobs? More like Wish-I’d-Never Jacobs.

5 thoughts on “He’s a jerk … and a smooth-talker.

  1. I'd like to state for the record that calling a woman you're dating is NOT a red flag, IMO. I'm a guy, and sometimes it's not clear how to refer to your lady-friend. If it was only a month, that could be a tough call. And hey, maybe he was at a couples' resort with his sister. But then, that's an even bigger red flag I guess.

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